it was the day when i first get my heart broken. it got so bad i couldnt even find the reason why i should continue living.
too much problems, too much stupid decisions, & maybe too naive to stand for whats right & whats not. there no words can be use to represent how much it hurt me :/
it gets bad than worse. everyday its aching like hell & that was the first time i felt myself was too fragile. like i'm gonna shattered any moment. i kept worrying about tomorrow. how i'm gonna move on. how will my day turned out when he's not around. i guess that was why i felt like living numblessly. when you couldnt find ANY REASON to live, why live at all?
i made a lot of attempt, & none of it worked i guess. inside my braveness of ending my own life, i feel a little bit of scaredness. what would it feel when i died? will it hurts as much as when the moment i tried to cut myself? it sucks that i let everyone around me down when i'm making those stupid decisions.
hurting myself wont solve any problems. ending life means running away, & Allah never taught anyone to avoid problems, or even running from reality. its been more than a year, & i had learned a lot. instead of feeling sorry for those aches, i should be thankful. if it wasnt because of him, i wouldnt know how it was to be strong. THANK YOU RAID, im strong enough because you. you love thought me so much. again, thank you :)